Main Line Saloon

I know a place, it's a bar that never closes,
I recommend you take a friend and hold your noses.
What you see won't be the same as any place you've been before
And you'll know when you read the name written on the open door.

Welcome! Welcome! Welcome, everybody, welcome!
Welcome to the Main Line Saloon!

Yea, I've been there, what a lousy place to visit.
But try not to stare, although it isn't pretty, is it?
All you see are yellow fingers trying to hide the face that crumbles,
And you smell the life that lingers in the dying voice that mumbles.

Welcome! Welcome! Welcome, everybody, welcome!
Welcome to the Main Line Saloon!

If you see a girl lookin' old and kind of dirty
If her name is Sue, give her a whirl, you know she'll never live to thirty.
Never mind the way she bleeds when you take her for a dime now,
You can't give her what she needs, and she needs it all the time now.

Welcome! Welcome! Welcome, everybody, welcome!
Welcome to the Main Line Saloon!

Well alright, go on in, the door stays open in December
You'll find a friend within; I know 'cause I'm a charter member.
Catch me if I'm falling down; hold me up so I can listen
To the angels calling down on the day your arms are christened.

Welcome! Welcome! Welcome, everybody, welcome!
Welcome to the Main Line Saloon!
Welcome! Welcome everybody, everbody, to the Main Line Saloon!